Atterrando

My first book of poetry, Atterrando, has finally been published. After years of rejection from so many poetry competitions, publishers, etc. I decided to self-publish with Epigraph Publishers. And now the book is here in the world. I learned so much going through this experience, and it still is a bit overwhelming.

Self-publishing is expensive. That is the truth about it. I spent a lot of money getting this done, and now I will have a box of books that I need to promote and sell. So even after you pay for the book getting published, you are then paying for copies that you need to sell. I am hoping that I can sell the 20 copies I purchased and get my money back, but who knows?

Now, I have to deal with my complete disinterest and even at times, hatred, of self-promotion. I will be trying to sell my poetry book in a world that really does not care if my work is out there or not. The world is not waiting for my poetry to come into existence. However, I also know that my purpose in this world is to be a poet. I know that and have known that since childhood. But my life's purpose has nothing to do with a high salary in a profession that most people would value or care about. 

It's been a long time since I wrote in my blog. I have spent most of my time, living in my house, caring for my cat and my garden, and I have been teaching. I would like to say that I wrote a poem every day or even wrote one a week, but that has not happened. Once in awhile I write. At this point in my life, I have to accept I am not and have never been a writer that sits at a desk every day for hours, writing. There are fallow times, times of letting it all decompose in a way, and even rot. I am not always producing, finding a poem to describe how the sky looked in the early morning in Albuquerque, New Mexico. No, I go through fallow times as a writer where it is all buried deep, perhaps in a cave or even at the bottom of the ocean, and nothing is coming through, no light at all.

But last year I decided to gather up all of these poems and actually make a book. I do have two published chapbooks, but not a book, and it was time. I had hoped a small, independent publisher who have read my work and offered me this unconditional love and acceptance. But that has not happened, so I had to do it myself. 

So my book of poems that I have brought into the world with my own blood, sweat, and tears, is here. And the title, Atterrando, is an Italian word (a verb) that means: "landing; knocking down; burying the dead; bending to the ground." Yes, all of that for myself and for my ancestors. The knocking down, the landing, and certainly the burying of the dead.