A Published Poem: "Moon, Ocean, July 1944"

 

Here is the poem that was published in the literary arts journal, Open Doors Review: A Literary Magazine in Italy, Issue 5, 2023. Recently I learned that issue is no longer available online, and that pdf that was sent to me of the issue is no longer available. At some point the journal will have all the issues accessible online, but I am not sure when.

Moon, Ocean, July 1944

I close my eyes and then open them,

and she is still here, moon light hitting the wall,

asking me to remember her name

every night, every night and

all I hear is the wind outside.

The sheep are gone,

left yesterday with my father to Lordsburg.

He talked of prisoners and guns,

“Don’t talk to any of them. They won’t understand you.

Don’t smile at them. If you look in their eyes,

they will take your soul.”

“Like the Lady?” I ask.

But my father does not answer. He pretends not to hear.

His voice keeps repeating the same words,

it is his argument of his life,

the rules we follow,

but it is not the voice of the Lady

who is glowing in my room,

through the small mirror,

I almost see her face.

If I stand in the middle of the room and

look across at that small window,

I see the moon out there, heavy over the mesa,

weighing down on all of us,

while everyone around me is sleeping.

I am alone and the world here is barely breathing.

The Lady asks me to crawl into the ocean,

leave behind the shore, whatever land I know and go deeper,

but I am a desert girl and I don’t know how to swim.

That is okay,

the man who smiled at me,

that is okay he seemed to say as he walked by and said, “Mi scusi.”

He offered me a hand to guide me and he won’t let me drown.

He was born near the sea and a volcano.

He will not let me drown.

I look at him and he sees me

riding wave after wave,

he is only trying to return

to his mother, his sister, his mother tongue,

he does not look back at me,

as I walk between shore and the dark.

So Rough A Messenger

 

Here is my second chapbook of poetry, published by Finishing Line Press. It is also out of print, and yes, I would like to get this reprinted and available for interested readers to purchase. 

Long Island Girl

 

Here it is. My first chapbook of poetry that was published while I was a graduate student at the University of New Mexico. Malafemmina Press published it in a series of chapbooks by Italian American women poets. It is out of print. I would very much like to reprint it. 

My Memoir Is No Longer A Memoir

I have a new website, www.carmelalanzawriter.com, and I feel good about how professional it looks. And it is easy for me to make changes and updates on it. Instead of working on my poems that need revising, I am spending time on my website. Not sure if that is a good thing? I have an option to start a newsletter on my website and am still trying to figure out how to use it. 

I am slowly understanding that my memoir should not categorized as a memoir. It does not fit the mainstream idea of a memoir book. I see my life story as the skeleton of the book, but it is a mix of genres (poetry and personal narrative), and it is not linear at all. It also does not focus on a specific time in my life or a specific problem that I survived. I took an adult learning class on "writing a memoir" and as the instructor discussed the various types of memoirs, I realized mine did not fit in at all.  I also realized that I was writing without even considering who my audience would be. 

I have been adding poems to the manuscript and it seems my ancestors have been taking over. The Atlantic Ocean is also there as a force, a presence, and a connection to my ancestral line.

La Venefica: The Medicine Witch

 

According to the book, Witches and Pagans: Women in European Folk Religion, 700-1100, La Venefica was an herbalist but a "poisoner." This was going on around the 8th century but also continued into the 1400s where midwives were often viewed as "murderers" and "poisoners." For some, there needed to be a clear distinction between what was "good" and what was "evil" so veneficus had its opposite, beneficus, "one who is beneficent." 

I have started a new poem, "La Venefica," that I plan to include in my poetry manuscript, Abramo e Agata. At this time I plan to adding it to my section of poems that are narrated by La Madonna dell' Arco, one of the Black Madonnas of southern Italy but who has devotees around the world. In my poem, I am connecting La Madonna dell'Arco with La Venefica, the one who heals and the one who destroys. La Madonna dell'Arco is the voice who comes through at the beginning of my book.  So in the first section she is the narrator. The voice is primal; the Great Mother; Anima Mundi; the World card in the tarot. 

When I started working on my manuscript and my central narrator, Abramo, a young Napoletano, who is a POW in Lordsburg, NM, I saw him praying  to and worshipping La Madonna dell'Arco, whose sancutary is in Sant'Anastasia, a town at the foot of Mt. Vesuvius, within the municipality of Naples, Italy. I imagine my nonna, Grazia Napoletana, as a young girl going to that church. I have no evidence of that only what I imagine. Only what I create in my poetry.

When I first saw images of La Madonna dell'Arco, I was drawn to the scar on her face. immediately knew, could feel that She understands suffering. A young man lost his temper and threw a ball at the La Madonna dell'Arco's painting and her left cheek started to bleed. The bleeding eventually stopped, but the scar is always there. The young man was convicted of blasphemy, and was hanged. There is no fairy-tale ending to this story. No one was forgiven. The harshness of that story seeps into the devotion of this Black Madonna. People who suffer, who experience violence, illness, possession of evil spirits, near drownings, etc. all go to Her for healing and protection.

Follow me in this dance,

across the ocean,

the desert,

the swamp,

the dungeon,

the prison,

we will find the bones

in the cave.

I promise,

but that is not all of the story,

and no word will be

created for this,

what is left,

now and forever,

the humming of the bees,

the silence.

from my poem, "Dark Moon: La Madonna Promises"

"Poetry of Place" New Mexico Magazine

                         

 "Poetry of Place" New Mexico Magazine

Above is the link to Levi Romero and Michelle Otero's profile, "Poetry of Place: A Selection of Poems from the New Mexico Poetry Anthology book that "defines the essence of the Land of Enchantment." This profile was published in New Mexico Magazine, June 14, 2023.

I recently discovered my poem, "Animas, New Mexico 1945" was included in this profile. I am honored my poem was selected, and I am honored my poem is included in such a beautiful anthology. At this time the anthology is still available on Amazon, Thriftbooks, Barnes and Noble, Bookshop.org, and Museum of New Mexico Press.

New Mexico Poetry Anthology 2023

My poem, "Animas, New Mexico 1945" is included in this anthology.

"New Mexico Poetry Anthology 2023 is an 'ode and homage to nuestra querencia, our beloved homeland." Two hundred original, previously unpublished poems explore themes such as community, culture, history, identity, landscape, and water. From a diverse group of poets, the poems are introspective and personal; reflective and astute; steady and celebratory. Including poignant, unique, even humorous perspectives on life in New Mexico influenced by the COVID-19 pandemic, this collective of voices serves as a welcome remedio to all aspects of post-pandemic life, for ears aching for words of beauty, strength, and solace as we emerge from the cocoon of survivability.' "

from New Mexico State Library Poetry Center